So wake up, and do it.

Awake is the new sleep
Awake is the new sleep
So wake up
Wake up
And do it
Whatever it is
=)

I love this song. Ben Lee is great.

So I was thinking about the whole concept of speaking now or forever holding your peace, and I realized just how true, and applicable to life, it is. There are so many times that if you wait too long to say or do something, you've missed your chance and there's no relevance in doing something-- or speaking-- now. Because it's just too late. With that in mind, I decided to write someone a letter. I am probably going to send them this letter very soon, either via Facebook message or snail mail. Snail mail might be kind of weird since we're on the same campus and have a class together. But whatever. Who doesn't love getting snail mail, right?? Right.

So here's the letter.

Dear ______________,

Who are you? And what have you done with my friend?
I would say that I feel like I don't even know you anymore, but that would be too generous. That would imply that we still acknowledge each other.
...But we don't.
What happened to you?
What has made you do this, repeatedly, to people?
I don't understand you.
I guess I just don't understand.
In general.
What happened?
Please tell me.
Please don't treat me like I don't exist.
I'm still here...
...I still exist.
You should get that.
I guess what bothers me the most is the fact that we didn't have a fight. We didn't mutually agree to go our own separate ways. We didn't decide to just stop speaking to each other.
...Right?
We just ignore each other like we never even knew each other at all. Don't you think that's just a little screwed up?
Well it is.
And it makes me feel... I don't even, I can't even come up with a word for what it makes me feel because it was just so bizarre and out of the blue.
Honestly, we didn't speak that much the first few weeks of school. But we did communicate a little.
Then one day I saw one of your tweets, and being me, decided to let you know (via text) that I'd be there for you if you needed/wanted.
...No response from you, at which point I figured you wanted nothing to do with me.
Which really confused/bewildered me because actually nothing happened that would have qualified that feeling.
And so I sit here, thinking that I have to "Speak Now" or forever hold my peace.
And the thing about peace?
It doesn't mean anything if you don't fight first.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.

So right now, I'm waiting for my burger, fries, and milkshake to arrive... Hellooooo freshman 45. I don't feel bad about it though, because I'm starving, and I have homework to accomplish. I can't do that when I'm hungry. I actually can be really mean when I'm hungry, sooo yeah. I'm pretty excited about it. I have a chocolate shake topped with reese's, crinkle fries, and a well done burger waiting to be consumed by me. It's quite exciting.

ANYway... there's a guy with a guitar in the room next to me. He is an ok guitar player, but he has not stopped playing for the past hour. Now a singing girl has joined in. She is not that good. I think she wishes she was Amy Lee. Like that could ever happen. Hmph.

I'm really really sad because I didn't get to go to Acatoberfest. I would've loved it if I'd gone, I know that for sure. :( I love stuff like that.

Ok this girl is never gonna shut up, I swear to God as soon as my food comes I am gonna peace it to the ARC so I can actually get my shit done. Good news? I took my Psych quiz at 4:30 in the morning and got an A. Aw hellz yeah. =D

I love Snyder. Moving here is honestly one of the best decisions I've made since coming here. The nicest people live here. It's so cozy and just nice. I love everything about it. Besides this opera-singing wannabe Amy Lee, of course.

...So, I'm kind of confused. About my major. About what to study. I love writing and I know that I want to do that forever. I just don't think that English Education is the right major for me. I don't know... it sucks being undecided because everyone knows what classes to take for their major and stuff, and then I just... don't... know. :/ It's ok. I'll figure it out eventually. I just feel kind of stuck and it's not a fun feeeling. I guess the college transition in general has just been a lot harder than I thought it'd be.

8 days until Speak Now... aw HEELLZZ YEAH!! so excited. One of the songs from the record, "Back to December", was released on Tuesday, and I love it. It's definitely one of my favorite TSwift songs. It made me sad because it made me realize how much I miss someone, but our relationship is nothing like the song, because it wasn't a romantic relationship. It just ended kind of quietly and made me feel confused. I miss this person a lot... I wish they knew that and I wish they felt the same. The fact that they don't is what hurts me the most. But anyway, as usual, I relate A LOT to the emotions of the lyrics of the song. That's where the title of this post comes from, because it's just so true. Sometimes, you think you need a break from someone, and then you get it, and it turns out that what you wanted wasn't a break from them, but more of them.

I'm being deep now. Haha. Anyway.  ✇. ♥. TSwift.

:D

The 7 things I love/hate about today

LOVE:

The fact that I'm doing actually okay in Natural Disasters... a class that I thought I was failing

HATE: 

The fact that I have a lower grade in Psych than in Natural Disasters!! D:

LOVE:

Having so much peace/serenity in Snyder. :DDDD

HATE:

Certain people who are narcissistic and can't stop running their mouth about themself.

LOVE:

Having lunch w/ my Roshdosh at Sbarro and stir fry night at PAR

HATE: Waking up starving and forgetting to take my vitamins =(((

LOVE: That I got to sleep in an extra 2 hours

HATE: That I had to skip class in order to do that!

LOVE: TSwift's new single, Back to December!!!

HATE: The fact that it's about Taylor breaking other Taylor's heart. </3 

LOVE:
Having a tutor =)

HATE:
Needing to have a tutor =(

LOVE:
My new pledge familyyyyyyy

HATE:
That I'm not hanging out with them tonighttttt

Whatcha say?

I don't get people sometimes.

Right now I'm super frustrated for a couple of reasons.

1) Basically, the thing that I'm the most passionate about in the world, I can't do anymore. Which sucks. But what sucks worse than that is the fact that it might actually come into fruition here and then I'll have to stand by and watch it happen. I hope I'm happy with the choices I've made. I think I will be, but at the same time, I want it all and I'm tired of always being disappointed! But, I mean, everything happens for a reason I guess. Hmph.

I feel like I'm always complaining about something or other. But whatever.

...Also, I can't believe she's gonna get what she wants. AGAIN. What the fuck... I am very very VERY angry and I don't even want to come back now. Seriously. Knowing what she did, it makes me sick to know that no one even cares. It's all just blown over. That's stupid as hell. Is that why we spent so much time shit-talking her? So she could just flutter right back in and take over? Fuck that shit. So annoyed.

I am NEVER going back when she is there. Right now, there's a good chance I won't even want to come back at all.

I'm in a really weird mood.